What happens when you live in a generation where trying to look successful is more important than actually being successful?

Or when making it look like you enjoy your life is more important than actually enjoying life?

Where external validation is used as currency for self worth…

What happens when you live in a generation where some people will hate beaches but go to one to post it on their Instagram story? Or buy a car they don’t care about so others see their success?

We’d rather make it seem like we our lives figured out than actually figuring them out.
So, again, my question to you is what happens when authenticity is the price you pay for self worth? Where does that lead you? Where does that lead this world?

There are people who will go somewhere they don't even like because they know it'll look good on Instagram. A holiday spot, a luxury store, a fancy restaurant… the list goes on.

And the more you think about that the crazier it seems.

You can be standing on a beautiful beach, barely even looking at the ocean, trying to get the right photo so somebody sitting on their toilet 3,000 miles away thinks your life looks good.

We've somehow made experiencing something secondary to proving we experienced it.

And I’m not pretending I'm above this either.

I've checked who viewed something I posted.

I've wanted things partly because of what having them would say about me.

Truthfully, most of us have.

We just don't really admit it because admitting it makes the whole thing feel a bit ridiculous.

Humans have always cared what other people think.

That's not new.

What IS new is carrying thousands of people's opinions around in your pocket all day.

Every post becomes a tiny vote.

Interesting.

Successful.

Attractive.

Important.

Or worse...

ignored.

And if you collect enough of those votes, eventually you can start using them to answer a question they were never supposed to answer.

Am I enough?

That's where I think things get dangerous.

Because once other people become the scoreboard, you start changing the game you're playing just to keep the score going up.

Most people feel behind. But the people that don’t, aren’t smarter. They’re just better informed.

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So I've been trying something.

Whenever I really want something, I mentally remove everyone else from the room.

Nobody will ever know.

No congratulations.

No envy.

No recognition.

I still get the thing. I just don't get to be seen having it.

Then I ask myself...

Do I still want it?

Sometimes the answer is immediately yes.

And sometimes the answer is no.

Either way the answer is important.

And let me be clear, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting nice things.

Or being proud of yourself.

That's not really the point.

I just don't want to wake up one day and realize I've spent years building a life that photographs better than it feels.

Because eventually everyone puts their phone down.

The room gets quiet.

Nobody is watching anymore.

And you're still the person who has to live the life behind the screen.

So maybe that's the question worth sitting with tonight.

If nobody could ever be impressed by your life... how much of it would you still choose?

Your #1 Fan,
Uncommon WIsdom