Have you ever been so stressed that you start getting stressed about how stressed you are? (I have.)

Because chances are at some point in your life you’ve asked yourself “Is it normal to feel this stressed“.

And right after that comes the second natural thought...

Something must be wrong with me. Why can’t I just handle this?

But the more I study stress the more I realize that this whole time I’ve been asking the wrong question.

You see, maybe the goal isn't to avoid stress, but to understand what the stress is asking us to do.

Because stress is just a sign; some stress can push you forward, while others can pull you apart.

So, the question is… which stress helps you and which one hurts you?

Think about a lion chasing a gazelle.

Both are stressed… heart pounding, breathe rate through the roof, muscles firing on all cylinders.

But that stress, that energy, has to go somewhere.

Fight, flight or freeze… run, move or act.

And eventually, if the danger passes, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in and initiates the recovery process.

But we’re not living in the Sahara, we’re humans… our lives and stressors are entirely different.

Fortunately, there aren't many lions chasing us through the grocery or hunting us at work.

But our bodies still respond to pressure with that same basic message:

Something matters. Pay attention. Do something.

The problem comes when there's nowhere for that energy to go.

You can't physically run away from debt.

And you can't fight an uncertain future with your bare hands.

A problem in a relationship can’t be outran, and a lingering thought can’t be forced away.

So, our internal bodily alarm stays on and continues to ring, and ring, and ring…

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I've started trying to treat stress less like an enemy and more like a signal.

Because sometimes stress is useful.

That racing heart before you do something important doesn't necessarily mean stop.

Sometimes it means: This matters. Make it a priority right now.

And how we interpret that feeling matters too.

Instead of immediately thinking, "I can't handle this, this is too much” , I've been trying to ask:

What is this stress asking me to do?

Make the call?

Start the work?

Have the conversation?

Because that's a different problem.

Stress stops being useful when you never really come back down.

When you're constantly exhausted.

When you can't sleep properly.

When you're snapping at the people you love.

That's not something to glorify as “the grind” … it’s your system telling you the load may be exceeding your ability to recover.

And sometimes dealing with that means changing something, asking someone for help, or talking to a professional.

There's no medal for silently drowning (as much as your brain will tell you there is).

Life can be a lot sometimes. Painfully so. Ridiculously so.

And if you're in one of those periods right now, you may not be able to magically turn your stress into productivity.

Sometimes you're just having a hard f**king week.

I get it.

But maybe the next time you feel that pressure building, don't immediately fight the feeling.

Pause and ask:

Is this stress helping me respond to my life... or stopping me from living it?

Then listen to the answer.

Stress isn't always telling you something is wrong.

Sometimes it's telling you something needs to change.


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